I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
