first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
