pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
