you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
