I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize