I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
