dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
