In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
