Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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