people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
