awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
