If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
