just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize