Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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