i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
