dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
