u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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