rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
