my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
