Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
