yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
