Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize