youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
