Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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