my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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