Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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