hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
