my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
