I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
this will be a night to untag.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
