Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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