his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
