Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
