Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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