dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
