vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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