Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
