Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize