Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
