I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
