She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
