I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
