They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
