How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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