she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize