One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
