she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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