How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
