They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
