Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize