I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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