We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
