i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can't talk, ducks in the car
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
