I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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