Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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