Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
