My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
