She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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