My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize