That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
