she looked like the before picture.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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