We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
