I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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