pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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